I don’t remember the first time I saw/heard/encountered the idea of pairing my first name with the last name of my crush (ahem, one true love) at the time… but I remember thinking that 1.) it was a genius idea, 2.) that it was something only to be done where no one could see and 3.) that I couldn’t tell anyone I had ever thought about it let alone done it.

Megan Stout

Megan Johnson

Megan _________?

I’d write it in varying formats – print, cursive, block letters, fancy, messy and in any combination, only to scribble it out so hard that my pen rapidly tore holes in the lined notebook paper. Even though the names were scribbled beyond any hope of recognition, it couldn’t be risked, and that same lined paper found its way into the trash can next to my desk. Shredded and torn to little pieces.

Many, many years later I sit at the table observing a recent form I signed for Royal Crest (to get or not to get milk from the milk man?) and notice my signature. M. Stecker. And, you know what? It’s totally cool. I don’t have to scribble it out, tear it up or keep it a secret from anyone. I’m ALLOWED to see what my name looks like with my, no longer just a crush, husband’s last name. My 14 year old self would be so shocked.

It’s funny the things you think about when you’re young and suddenly determine that you’ve realized those very day dreams. Here’s to my new signature, even if I do get a little nostalgic about changing my name.

Christian and I planted 50 tulip bulbs around our yard last fall and they’re already starting to sprout! I can’t wait to see what they’ll look like since they were sort of tossed into random holes (cough, last-minute) before the ground froze. These early buds may have something to do with the warm, warm weather we’ve had, but, to me, it means only one thing: spring is on its way!

One of the ways I respond to high levels of stress (i.e. my wedding last fall) is not to sleep. Laying in bed counting down all the things that need to get done and try to will myself into a peaceful slumber is not one of the things in life that I really enjoy. These days I’m not planning a wedding, I’m not working (though some could say looking for a job is a full-time job in and of itself), I’m not stressed… but each night I lay my head down and I’m nailed with sleeplessness once again. Each night I come to bed with a new plan to get myself easily off into dream world only to be thwarted with memories from events, places and people I haven’t thought of in ages… wisps of summer vacations to my aunt and uncle’s house in Le Grand, IA, flashes back to dorm room conversations, replays of painful relationship moments – all just as vivid as if they had happened just last week. Details I’d forgotten like the exact layout of their living room, chatting through our dorm windows and final conversations all find themselves fully alive as I twist and turn in the sheets.

As bed time finally settles in, part of me is so frustrated listening to Christian quickly fall into snoozeville, while I lay there wondering what blast from the past will keep me from sleeping tonight? In part, it’s sort of wonderful to relive the happy memories in more detail than ever before, but it’s hard walking through painful moments… things that I wouldn’t choose to relive. Ever.

Starting tonight I’m going to try something new, pop a ibuprofen PM right before I hit the sheets and get up with Christian at the joyous hour of 5:15 in the morning. That way we’ll be on the same sleep schedule, maybe. And, with some luck it will work and I’ll be back to sleeping easy! Any tips on what you use to beat those sleepless nights?

I’m not one of those people that wants to sit down to a book only to find myself falling into a twisted story (while beautifully written) that in the end will only leave me wishing I hadn’t opened the book to begin with. I read to enjoy the words, to learn something or to find solace in something I can’t find outside of books. Books are like coming home – an escape from reality and a chance to live through something you otherwise would have missed.

Now that I’ve quit my job I’ve had a bit more time to read with less of an imposed bed time — meaning I’ve flown through 6 books in just about a month. What was it I was reading with such fervor?

See, a little of everything. With days like yesterday with the snow flakes spitting from the sky, nothing sounds better than curling up with a cup of hot apple cider and a book. Not sure what book is next on the list, any suggestions?

I aim to be the next Ansel Adams — or just, you know, document my culinary creations, travel adventures and Charles sleeping. Life is all about having big aspirations.

These photos make me desperate to back on my honeymoon with Christian. Days floating on the waves and laying by the pool – with not a care in the world. Sigh, summer can’t come soon enough.

Every year December approaches with loads of anticipation, joy and hope for the holidays. And, each year the holidays come and go, followed shortly by New Year’s Eve. A night that’s legendary for exciting parties, magical happenings and romantic stolen kisses at midnight.

After Christmas passes I find myself disappointed and feeling a bit down. New Year’s with all its magical expectations leads to dashed hopes and a closet full of sparkly, now, slightly used dresses. The next morning you wake up… waiting for that fresh new year feeling when all that surrounds you feels exactly like the day before. The same laundry basket full of dirty socks, the same toothbrush in need of replacing and the same set of obligations needing to be fulfilled.

Instead of feeling ready for all that’s about to happen I feel a little like the excitement has passed and I’m just desperate to get it back. Despite my less than enthusiastic perspective on starting 2012, I’m ready to rock the heck out of this new year. I’d say I have some resolutions, but whenever you use the word resolution in front of some sort of a goal it seems that it is forever bound to fail. So in 2012 I don’t have any resolutions, but some overall ideas that I hope to make a reality.

Marriage. It’s only year one and I couldn’t be happier about that, learning to live together and enjoying every moment of it. Even if it does mean I’m living with a boy.

Health. At the end of the day being healthy isn’t about willpower, it’s about acting you age and doing what’s right. We’ll see if I can put down the bag of Oreo’s I’ve been eating during my Harry Potter marathon and start snacking on kale chips after long runs. Yeah? You feeling it?

Travel. I love to travel here, there and just about everywhere. We’ve already got an 11 day cruise booked for the Southern Caribbean during early March, but where else this year will lead is a total mystery. I’m hoping for somewhere great!

Home. We’ve got our house but I have to say it’s anything but a home. Ripping down all the warm, cozy Christmas decorations hurt my heart for the simple fact that my house is so empty and bare. Guess I’ll have to make a few trips to IKEA and get things in order. By this time next year let’s hope it really will be home sweet home.

Job. The end of 2011 was truly the end of an era for me. Leaving my past four years of employment behind… but with a whole new year ahead of me I’m looking forward to finding a position that excites me just as much as it challenges me. I’m ready to make a difference and work hard each day.

And, per usual this blog is on there and what awaits it in the coming year I’m not sure, maybe a re-design? For sure, more posting. Here’s to a great holiday season and the start of a year full of promise.

*Photo Credit: Juliana

I cried when I said goodbye my last day in the office and spent even longer crying on my hour and a half drive home. As ready and excited as I am for the next challenge, I’m nostalgic and sad to know I won’t get to spend a few minutes each day chatting with Amy in her festive office, getting great advice from Lori, laughing with Allen when he gets in, ichatting photos of cupcakes with Bethany or yelling back and forth between Jessica’s desk and my own.

So here’s to a sad goodbye and a celebration in moving forward. 2012 is a whole new year… and baby, I’m more than ready.

So while I enjoy a month of gaining back each one of the pounds I lost prior to the wedding (gingerbread cookies, cough, rum cake, cough), here are a few of my favorite things this month:

Big Bang Theory. I cannot get enough of Sheldon, there has never been a better played TV character. Swoon.

Bio Oil. Mix a few drops in with your lotion and voila moisturized skin.

Barefoot Contessa Chocolate Chip Cookies. Crispy, salty, chewy goodness.

Living Room Bootcamp. A solid workout without having to head to the gym. Particularly helpful on days like today when it’s 9 degrees outside. Brrr.

Dreyer’s Peppermint Ice Cream. Something about those crunchy little peppermint chunks gets me every time. Every Christmas my family would order a bucket of peppermint ice cream from the Schwan man, and each evening we would get a precious scoop of creamy goodness. Each bowl is chalk full of memories.

Twinkle Lights Everywhere. I love the way they can make even a simple tree or a boring staircase feel magical. I wish they could be around all year long.

*photo credit

What are your favorite things this time of year?

I’m not very good at, you know, getting posts out on the actual holiday… but I figure being thankful is being thankful and whether it happened last Thursday or happens this Thursday doesn’t really matter. Right? So here it goes, 20 things that I’m thankful for at the start of this holiday season:

1.) A husband that loves me, shares a love of cheese and pineapple, will let me watch hours of Diners, Drive In’s and Dives and who happens to be one of the greatest people I know. I heart him.

2.) Days where you just have to eat your feelings — and friends/family that are more than happy to join in.

3.) The most ridiculous, ill-mannered, sweet dog ever.

4.) Cheese. What else is there to say?

5.) A glass, or 5, of good wine.

6.) The best friends in the world. Ones who repeatedly remind you of all those times you laughed until you peed your pants.

7.) Knowing that rum cake is less than a month away. Oh, yes. Holiday desserts.

8.) The ability to spend a night snuggled in blankets watching movies from the 90′s (Ahem, Father of the Bride 2).

9.) A house, while needing immeasurable amounts of duct tape & love, to hang Christmas lights on.

10.) The best family a girl could ask for.

11.) My health and the health of those around me.

12.) Christmas – I just love it. Christmas trees, twinkle lights, joy.

13.) Pinterest. The amount of things I’ve learned and the amount of time I’ve wasted are both astounding.

14.) Red shoes because they can inevitably make any outfit glamorous.

15.) *Fingers Crossed* That we’re done car shopping for several years. Two new cars in less than 1 year is a bit much.

16.) Chapstick. My chapped lips live for you, and my addiction to you means I couldn’t go more than a day without you.

17.) All the amazing things that happened in 2011 – engagement, wedding, travel, new house, and the list goes on.

18.) A safe, warm (though Christian and I differ greatly on the definition) and nice place to call home.

19.) Truffle oil – on french fries, on burgers, in mac n’ cheese, in anything really…

20.) Snowflakes. But only when they’re falling. Once they’ve hit the ground they might as well be the scourge of the planet.

I truly am thankful for everything I have, all the friends and family in my life and so much more. Hope you had a fabulous Thanksigving (only a week late)!

*Image by: jessicaNdesigns