Last weekend I attended a “classy” Christmas party… involving a cocktail-ish dress and some big ‘ol heels. I was totally rocking it. Didn’t feel like a half-naked beast one bit. BUT, last night at my friend’s tacky sweater party someone made this comment about my height to my littlest sister. Now he may have been hitting on her, and she does have a boyfriend who was present, but nonetheless:

Random Guy: Your sister is a giant. <pause> Last week she was wearing heels and WHOA she was just staring down a the top of my head. <pause> <pause> Now, you… you’re just the right size.

For starters, what guy in the right mind starts hitting on one sister by insulting the other? Anyone, anyone? And two, I’m a giant? Rude. Maybe next time I’m staring down at the top of his head I’ll conveniently mention his need for a moisturizing scalp shampoo, because whatever he was using surely wasn’t doing the trick.

P.S. Tacky sweater photos coming soon.

1. Pants. Try buying some when you have a 36″ inseam. Not only is it intensely frustrating, but expensive. That’s just jeans and dress pants. If I want pj pants its going to be special order. Jealous? Or I could just buy the size 18 and have them taken in because according to the apparel industry, wide also equals tall.

2. Heels. I love them, but when I’m a good 6″ taller than everyone around me I don’t feel attractive, I don’t feel girly, I just feel like a BEAST. And, nothing you say will change that. When you wear heels and reach a towering 5′ 9″ it is not the same thing. Just doesn’t compare.

3. Awkwardness. It just comes with territory, or at least for me. You’ve got all these extra inches of limbs just waiting to flail, bang into something, throw your center of gravity off and steer you into the wall in front of large groups of people. Also quite prone to falling, tripping, stumbling, and tumbling down stairs.

4. Beds. They just aren’t long enough. Ever been to Europe? You’d swear it was a continent of midgets. My legs hung off from mid calf down in just about every bed I slept in. Talk about comfort, I’ve never been so comfortable in my whole life. Not.

5. Basketball. “Did you play basketball?”. For the 100th time. No. Stop asking.

6. Planes… well transportation really. Leg room is abysmal in most every form of transportation.I had a friend mention that she loves car trips because there’s room to move around. I had to pause… is there room in cars? I feel squished, cramped and uncomfortable. But, then again if your 5′ 4″ you’ve got all the space in the world. In my car, the seat is all the way back and my knees still hit the steering wheel. It’s a great time. Really, you should try it.

7. Dancing. Back to awkward… limbs flailing, awkward movements… When people suggest a dance competition I counter with how about a “sway” competition. I’ve got swaying down, pat.

8. Being Asked. When someone finds out how tall I am, their jaw seriously drops and they are like, “REALLY!?!”. Saying the actual numbers adds to the overall effect. It’s not a freak show, move along people.

9. Stares. I once wore heels out and received stare after stare after stare. The only comment I received all night was, “Wow, you must be one confident woman”. Um… in comparison to you smerf, yes I am. Thankyouverymuch.

10. Photos. I’m either in the back or bent into some contorted position. Attractive? Yes.

So, for the 100th time. Being tall is great but it also has its moments… Enough already.